Matzav Inbox: Rav Dovid Feinstein’s Guidance Re: Shabbos Affair with a Party Planner
Dear Matzav Inbox,
“Even the most elegant celebration must bow to the sanctity of Shabbos — for beauty without Halachah is an illusion, but observance brings true splendor.”
It was a lavish affair — a Shabbos Bar Mitzvah held in an elegant Connecticut hotel, where fine linens gleamed under crystal chandeliers and every detail had been orchestrated by a professional party planner. The atmosphere was refined, the décor impeccable — but for the host, a yirei Shamayim, there was one priority above all: that every moment of Shabbos be conducted with kedushah and halachic precision.
To ensure this, an experienced mashgiach was hired to supervise the entire weekend. From the moment he arrived, he worked with quiet precision, overseeing every preparation — from the kitchen’s eiruv tavshilin to the careful handling of the hot plates and the sealing of the refrigerators before Shabbos.
The planner, however, had never worked under such rigorous religious supervision. To her, timing was everything, presentation was everything — and the Mashgiach’s insistence on halachic boundaries felt like interference.
By the time the Friday night seudah began, tension filled the air behind the scenes. The planner approached the host, visibly flustered. “I can’t work like this,” she whispered urgently. “He’s stopping everything — even simple things that I need done to serve your guests properly!”
The host looked at her calmly, understanding both her frustration and the Mashgiach’s role. “Please,” he said softly but firmly, “whatever the Mashgiach says — that’s how it must be. It’s not personal; it’s Shabbos. This is not like any weekday event. He carries the responsibility before Heaven for every detail.”
The planner hesitated, her professional pride warring with unfamiliar reverence. “But I’ve never been told I couldn’t adjust the lighting or reheat something before,” she said.The host’s voice was kind, but resolute. “On Shabbos, we adjust ourselves — not the lights.”
There was silence. Slowly, the tension dissipated. The planner nodded, humbled, and the event continued smoothly. The food was served with grace, the songs of zemiros filled the hall, and the atmosphere became one of quiet holiness rather than glittering showmanship.
In the following week, reflecting on the experience, the host and the Mashgiach consulted Rav Dovid Feinstein zt”l, seeking his wisdom about whether hashgachos should be provided for events managed by secular or non-religious planners. Rav Dovid listened carefully, then gave his clear and measured response.
“It is best not to give Hashgocha at all,” he said. “A party planner’s goal is to please guests — but Shabbos is not about convenience. When the one running the event does not understand hilchos Shabbos, chillul Shabbos is almost inevitable — even without intent.” His words carried weight — calm, simple, and absolute. The lesson was clear: Shabbos cannot be managed by those who do not live it.
From that point onward, the Mashgiach and others who heard of the incident followed Rav Dovid’s advice with conviction. If the planner did not live by Shabbos, there would be no Hashgachah. Better to lose a contract than to compromise the sanctity of Heaven’s gift.
Yehuda Shain
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