A new guide from Australian early-childhood specialists has ignited fresh controversy by proposing that parents treat diaper changes as an opportunity to practice consent — even with infants who can’t yet speak, the NY Post reports. The advice challenges long-standing assumptions about what a routine cleanup should look like.
The researchers argue that parents should announce what they’re about to do and give the baby a chance to absorb the message. As they put it: “At the start of a nappy change, ensure your child knows what is happening. Get down to their level and say, ‘You need a nappy change,’ and then pause so they can take this in.”
The recommendation is part of a November 2025 guide published by Deakin University, which urges caregivers to rethink the speed and style with which they approach this otherwise hectic task. The team suggests slowing down and treating the process as an early lesson in bodily awareness rather than something to “just get done.”
Their guidance goes beyond giving a heads-up. Parents are encouraged to frame diaper time as a dialogue — even if the child cannot respond. “Then you can say, ‘Do you want to walk [or] crawl with me to the [changing] table, or would you like me to carry you?’” the researchers advise, adding, “Observe their facial expressions and body language to check if they understand what is happening.”
From their perspective, this moment can teach fundamental ideas about autonomy. “This can be a time to help children learn about consent and how their bodies work,” they explain.
The Deakin team also proposes involving babies physically during the process, prompting them with statements like, “Can you please lift up your bottom so I can slide your nappy out?” They insist that “These habits plant the seed of the idea that a child has the right to say what happens to their body.”
Child-development professionals in the United States told The NY Post that while infants can’t converse, narrating actions is still meaningful. Yamalis Diaz, a clinical child psychologist at NYU Langone Health, says parents can use diaper changes to normalize conversations about privacy and boundaries long before children develop language. “This is more about integrating the teaching of consent into the [adult’s] parenting practices early on,” Diaz said. “It’s aimed at increasing the parents’ awareness of all the ways that the need for consent occurs in a child’s life.”
Diaz adds that starting early helps ensure such conversations remain “part of the conversations throughout early development,” making boundary-setting more natural. “Parents and kids will be more comfortable talking about and establishing boundaries,” she said.
NYC psychotherapist Lesley Koeppel echoes that sentiment. “Babies cannot verbally agree or disagree, but parents can still narrate what they are doing,” she told The Post. “This builds a foundation for bodily autonomy long before a child has language.” She stresses, though, that these exchanges should be understood symbolically: “The validity of this approach lies in its message. You matter. Your body matters. I will always tell you what I am doing.” According to her, that message “becomes the template for healthy boundaries later in life.”
The Deakin researchers warn that traditional diaper-changing habits — such as entertaining the child with toys or songs — may blur a child’s perception of what is happening to their body during an intimate task. “It’s important children notice when someone is touching their most intimate parts,” they state, encouraging parents to keep the moment grounded and consistent. “Even in early infancy, children can respond to consistent verbal cues,” they add, recommending that parents maintain familiar language and stable routines.
They also urge the use of anatomically correct terminology when cleaning or bathing a child. “Parents may feel uncomfortable doing this and think more childish names should be used,” they acknowledge. “But this keeps children safe, as it means they can then inform trusted adults about their experiences with all the people who care for them.”
Despite the criticism the advice has drawn, the authors insist the intention is to lighten, not increase, the burden on parents. “The habits we outline above may also seem to add more work to the already demanding parental load,” they concede. “So try and do them as often as possible and be kind to yourself if every nappy change isn’t a perfect moment of connection.”
“You are supporting a small child after all.”
{Matzav.com}
