Matzav Inbox: Can We Disagree Without Dismissing Others?
Dear Matzav Inbox,
It seems to be on everyone’s mind: Achdus in Klal Yisroel.
For many of us, it is deeply painful to watch the growing discord between different groups of Yidden, particularly in Eretz Yisroel. The intensity of the disagreements has left many people feeling unsettled and heartbroken. And although much of the conflict is taking place in Israel, its effects have certainly crossed the ocean.
Over the past few months, I have heard from many people who are genuinely devastated by the rift. They are not necessarily debating politics or even taking a position on the issues themselves. They are simply asking: How did we get to a place where fellow Yidden can have so much anger and disdain for one another?
The opinions are strong. The differences are real. And the challenge is enormous.
There are those who believe that the only way to preserve our values is to create greater separation from people whose lifestyles and ideals are different from our own. They worry that being sensitive and accepting of others will cause our children to be more vulnerable to influences and weaken our commitment to Torah. They believe that strong boundaries, and sometimes even strong opposition, are necessary to protect what is sacred to us.
That concern cannot simply be dismissed.
At the same time, there is another concern that deserves our attention.
What happens when our commitment to Torah comes at the expense of our middos?
We all believe that Hashem expects us to be a mamleches kohanim v’goy kadosh—a holy nation and representatives of Hashem in this world. That means that our responsibility is in both Kedushah and menschlichkeit. One without the other won’t succeed.
We can maintain firm Torah convictions without humiliating another Jew. We can establish boundaries without hatred. We can reject ideas without rejecting people. We can disagree deeply while still remembering that the person standing across from us is a fellow Yid created b’tzelem Elokim.
This may be one of the greatest challenges of our generation: learning how to remain uncompromising in our Torah values while remaining deeply committed to the middos that Torah demands from us.
It is a lifelong journey and a difficult balance.
It has implications far beyond the current disagreements in Eretz Yisroel. It affects our schools, our communities, our workplaces, our families—and every interaction we have with another Jew. It affects our whole culture.
This year, the worldwide Kiddush Hashem Selichos presentation is exploring these questions through a collection of powerful stories and Torah-based insights about what it means to truly live as Mekadshei Hashem. See the full free video on https://livingkiddushhashem.org/
It raises a challenge worth thinking about during the days of Selichos:
Can we be uncompromising about Torah and kedushah—and at the same time be uncompromising about being a dignified reflection of Hashem’s middos tovos?
For us to succeed in our ultimate mission of Kiddush Hashem, I believe we need to figure out how to continue growing in both.
Rabbi Shraga Freedman
https://livingkiddushhashem.org/
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