Matzav Inbox: The Kiddush Reset: A Simple Way to Lower the Cost of Frum Living
Dear Editor,
There have been countless podcasts, articles, speeches, and discussions about the rising cost of frum living. There’s no denying it: living a frum life is expensive. Yes, there are many contributing factors, and everything from the shidduch crisis to basic capitalism has been blamed. But one thing is clear: if we, as a community, take real steps to reduce costs, then costs will come down.
I’d like to suggest a simple first step. Every shul should establish straightforward guidelines for making a kiddush, bar mitzvah, aufruf, or any similar event within the shul. For example: if you’re making a kiddush here, you choose from two or three preset tiers. Naturally, the Rav should speak with the membership to determine what is truly affordable, and the available options should reflect the financial reality of the shul’s families.
I can already hear the reactions: “But what about people who won’t make the kiddush in the shul?” And the answer is — you’re right. You can’t force anyone to do anything once they’re outside the shul. But if 90% of the membership follows the system, it’s absolutely worth it. And let’s be honest: many of the wealthier members would probably prefer preset options anyway. It gives them less to worry about, and it even provides a built-in excuse — “I would’ve done something fancier, but the Rav doesn’t allow it.”
This is not a massive national initiative that requires an Agudah convention session. We don’t need a new organization or a fundraising drive to make it happen (give your maaser to the tzedakah of your choice). All we need is for our rabbonim and our shul members to look around and finally say: enough is enough.
C.J.
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