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Dear Matzav Inbox,

I would like to share an observation regarding shidduchim that I believe many in the community have noticed. This is not meant for everyone, and certainly not for those who put real thought into the shidduchim they suggest.

At the same time, there are cases where shidduchim are suggested without enough thought, or without really knowing the boy or the girl. Often, the person suggesting the idea does not actually know either side at all. For example, they may know the boy’s mother and the girl’s grandmother, and based on that limited connection, the shidduch is suggested. While well-intentioned, this often does not lead anywhere.

Many of us see that some ideas are clearly way out of the ballpark. I have also heard people say they took on a kabbalah to suggest one shidduch a day. While the desire to help is admirable, shidduchim are not daf yomi, and not everything works with a daily quota.

Beyond that, when too many unrealistic ideas are suggested, it can take away from the value of more serious shidduchim. It also takes up time and energy that could be better spent checking into good, solid ideas that actually have potential.

Before presenting a shidduch to an already overwhelmed parent, perhaps it would help to make two or three phone calls to people who actually know both the boy and the girl. A little checking can save a lot of unnecessary information, phone calls, and follow-ups.

This is not meant to discourage good shidduchim. If someone truly has a solid, well-thought-out idea, they should not hesitate to suggest it. Even if a person is not completely sure, but has done some basic checking and others who know the situation also feel it is a reasonable idea, it is certainly appropriate to suggest the shidduch. The point is simply not to suggest shidduchim as a way of checking off an item on a to-do list.

Shidduchim involve real people and real lives. A bit more seichel and a bit less pressure to “have an idea” can only help everyone involved.

Thank you for providing a platform for this discussion.

Sincerely,
A concerned member of the community

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{Matzav.com}

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Israel’s United Torah Judaism has taken a dramatic step in support of Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu, announcing that it is removing all previous limitations and reservations it had placed on judicial and legal legislation.

The decision came shortly after a forceful speech by Netanyahu in the Knesset in which he reiterated his determination to advance the draft law. Following the address, UTJ faction chairman Uri Maklev formally informed Coalition Chairman Ofir Katz that, effective immediately and until further notice, the party will support all coalition-backed legal and judicial bills.

Maklev conveyed that the move stems from deep and growing frustration within the chareidi parties over what they view as persistent legal targeting of the Torah world and the chareidi public. According to party officials, recent developments — ranging from the handling of the draft law to delays in funding for daycare centers and yeshivos — have convinced UTJ that the legal establishment and the courts have marked the chareidi community as a central target.

Under the new directive, United Torah Judaism will provide blanket and unconditional backing to every coalition-sponsored judicial bill, legislative initiative, or procedural motion dealing with legal matters. The party stressed that all prior constraints it had imposed in this area have been fully lifted.

Coalition sources say the decision effectively gives the government a green light to revive and advance controversial legal legislation that had been frozen for months, potentially setting the stage for a significant wave of lawmaking during the current Knesset session.

The immediate political impact is a substantial strengthening of the right-wing bloc within the government and a renewed consolidation of the chareidi parties within the coalition framework.

Senior coalition officials welcomed Maklev’s announcement, signaling that any further attempts by the legal system — including High Court of Justice involvement — to intervene in chareidi religious life will now be met with swift and coordinated legislative responses.

“This is a genuine strategic shift in the relationship between the chareidi parties and the legal system,” coalition insiders said. “It is a move that is expected to influence the government’s stability and shape the political battles of the coming weeks.”

{Matzav.com}

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Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu delivered an impassioned speech Monday night in the Knesset, forcefully defending the centrality of the Torah world to Jewish survival while trading sharp barbs with opposition leader Yair Lapid during a heated 40-signature debate.

Speaking after Lapid renewed his attacks, Netanyahu chose to respond directly, combining pointed political criticism with an emotional defense of Torah study. Addressing the draft law, Netanyahu accused the opposition of taking what he called a “narrow, extreme, and divisive” stance, while his government, he said, is pursuing broad national consensus.

“We are advancing a historic framework that will lead to the enlistment of 23,000 chareidim over the next three and a half years,” Netanyahu said. “This is a real revolution, with an enormous number of recruits. The law we formulated includes personal and institutional sanctions, but I believe they won’t be needed, because the chareidi public will meet the enlistment targets we set.”

The prime minister went on to contrast the government’s proposal with what he described as Lapid’s previous legislation. “We quadrupled the number of recruits. Which law is better, your draft-evasion law or our enlistment law? Our law serves the state; your law serves you politically. You’re not interested in chareidi enlistment. You want to throw obstacles in the way of the historic law we are bringing. Your fear is that we will succeed — that the draft law will pass and tens of thousands of chareidim will enlist in the IDF.”

Lapid responded by citing the pain of bereaved families, describing testimony given in the Knesset’s Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee by the widow of fallen IDF officer Emanuel Moreno. “Bereaved families are falling apart when they see attempts to give chareidim exemption from sacrifice,” Lapid said, accusing the government of moral failure. He further claimed that a senior chareidi minister compared calls for chareidi enlistment to forcing Jews to wear a yellow badge.

After Lapid’s remarks, Netanyahu returned to the podium for a second speech, rejecting the opposition’s claims and reaffirming his support for both national security and Torah learning. “We are now passing a real draft law, as opposed to your evasion law,” he said. “I stand behind everything I said about what is in our law and what was not in yours. I understand that there are people who are unhappy about this. You certainly are, because you want it to fail.”

Netanyahu strongly condemned the comparison to the yellow badge. “I denounce with complete force the talk about the yellow patch,” he said. “Enlisting in the Israel Defense Forces is not a yellow patch. It is good that hundreds of young chareidim came yesterday. But at the same time, we will preserve the Torah world, because without the Torah world we would not have survived here and we would not have reached where we are today.”

In one of the most emotional moments of the debate, Netanyahu linked Jewish continuity throughout history to Torah study. “We would not have endured, we would not have reached this time, and we would have no future without it,” he said. “If you follow Jewish history — exile after exile, slaughter, plunder, horrific acts — throughout all of that, Torah learning and the preservation of Jewish heritage remained. Without it, we would not be here. I respect this. I do not scorn it, and I am not trying to eliminate it. I want coexistence: there will be Torah scholars, and there will also be those who enlist. Thank God this is beginning to happen, and soon it will happen on a much larger scale. If you care about the future of the state, this is something you should encourage.”

Netanyahu concluded with a sharp personal jab at Lapid, tying the opposition leader’s political standing to his priorities. “You know why you’re polling at four seats today,” Netanyahu said. “A year and a half ago you told me there wouldn’t be a fountain named after me, there wouldn’t be a square named after me. Do you really think that’s what interests me? I’m here to ensure the existence of the Jewish people. That’s what interests me, not you. And that’s why the polls give you four mandates.”

{Matzav.com}

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Israeli opposition leader Yair Lapid sharply escalated his rhetoric on Monday against the chareidi public and its rabbinic leadership, accusing them of delegitimizing the Israel Defense Forces and demanding what he described as unequal treatment in the wake of the October 7 attacks.

Speaking at the opening of a faction meeting of his Yesh Atid party, Lapid addressed the ongoing controversy surrounding remarks made by Yitzchok Goldknopf, chairman of United Torah Judaism, as well as statements by chareidi rabbinic figures opposing military conscription. Lapid claimed that chareidi leaders are “not asking for an exemption from army service, but for an exemption from bereavement.”

Lapid said Goldknopf appeared before the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee a day earlier and compared sanctions on draft evaders and deserters to the yellow badge imposed on Jews during the Holocaust. “My father wore a yellow badge,” Lapid said. “A 13-year-old Jewish boy sitting in the Budapest ghetto while the Nazis wanted to kill him. My grandfather was murdered in the cold and snow in a concentration camp. My grandfather never harmed a single person in his life. He was a small, overweight man, not important at all. They put a yellow badge on him and murdered him because he was a Jew.”

He went on to cite a gathering of roshei yeshiva that took place the same day, where Rav Menachem Tzvi Berlin reportedly said that the Israel Defense Forces and those who support enlistment were “no better than Hitler.” Lapid said no senior rabbinic figures present objected to the comparison. “Hitler murdered a million and a half Jewish children,” Lapid said. “And he stood there and compared him to the IDF, and no one stood up and said, ‘Sir, Jews do not speak this way.’”

Lapid delivered some of his harshest words directly at the chareidi leadership. “How dare you?” he said. “How dare you compare the Israel Defense Forces to the Nazis? If there were no IDF, we would all have been dead long ago like my grandfather. What kind of Judaism is this? What happened to ‘Its ways are ways of pleasantness’? Since when do Jews speak to one another like this?”

Addressing the broader national burden of military service, Lapid said, “At some point you’ll have to understand: we’re not trying to fight with you, we’re trying to live with you. But it’s impossible to continue when our children are dying and yours are not.” He added, “You’re not asking for an exemption from enlistment. You’re asking for an exemption from bereavement. You’re asking for an exemption from the knock on the door at four in the morning. We can’t give you that anymore. Not after October 7.”

Lapid also focused on the economic dimension of the dispute, claiming that draft evasion imposes a massive financial burden on the public. “We also can’t continue with a situation where we fund draft evasion to the tune of 60 billion shekels every year,” he said. “Every working family transfers 1,700 shekels a month to draft evaders.”

Concluding his remarks, Lapid said his party was offering an alternative vision. “What we’re proposing instead is shared lives and a shared Israeli story,” he said. “We have no problem with you being chareidi. That is your full right. But it does not exempt you from the obligations that apply to every Israeli citizen — to serve, to study, and to work. It does not exempt you from sharing the fate of this people. And stop talking about the Holocaust. It does you no honor, it does not honor the Torah, it cheapens the Holocaust, and it gives ammunition to antisemites against the Jewish people.”

{Matzav.com}