Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein Rejects “Sweetening” Air-Raid Sirens With Candy, Calls Advice “Goyishe Counsel”
A widely discussed educational question during the ongoing war with Iran—how to help children cope with the fear of air-raid sirens—prompted a sharp and surprising response from the noted posek and member of the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah, Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein. In remarks resurfaced from a shiur delivered during the 2014 Gaza conflict, the rov strongly criticized the idea of giving children candy during sirens to make the experience less frightening, calling the approach “עצת גויים,” foreign counsel inconsistent with a Torah perspective.
The video, recently released by the editors of the sefer Divrei Chemed, shows Rav Zilberstein—rov of the Ramat Elchanan neighborhood of Bnei Brak—discussing a letter he had received from concerned parents. The parents had written that an emotional therapy expert suggested turning the frightening moments of sirens into a “positive experience” for children.
According to the therapist’s advice, parents were encouraged to prepare candies or small prizes and distribute them whenever a siren sounded while families were sheltering in protected rooms. The intention, the parents wrote, was to transform the stressful moments into something pleasant and even enjoyable.
The parents reported that the idea appeared to work. Their children were no longer frightened by the alarms, and soon other children in the building began joining them in the shelter to receive treats as well. Eventually, they wrote, the situation evolved to the point that children were eagerly awaiting the next siren in order to receive another sweet.
The parents then posed a halachic question: since the candies helped calm the children during a time of danger, could the cost of the treats be paid using maaser funds, perhaps considering the expense a form of mitzvah spending?
Rav Zilberstein’s response was emphatic and unexpected.
“This expense is not considered a mitzvah expense, nor even a discretionary expense,” he said. “Rather, it is an ‘expense of a sin,’ because the entire advice of that ‘expert’ is nothing more than עצת גויים—to turn a moment of distress and outcry into a ‘pleasant experience.’”
Instead, the rov said that the proper Jewish response is to guide children toward tefillah and emunah during moments of danger.
“A Jewish approach,” he explained, “is to calm the children by reciting chapters of Tehillim together in unison. As is known, when a person faces danger he is obligated by the Torah to pray to Hashem that He save him from the distress.”
To create an atmosphere of reassurance and faith, he suggested singing songs that strengthen belief and trust in Hashem, including Ani Maamin b’emunah sheleimah b’vias haMashiach, Vehi She’amdah la’avoseinu velanu, and B’tzeis Yisroel miMitzrayim.
Rav Zilberstein continued that children should be gently taught the spiritual purpose behind such frightening moments.
“Instead of the foreign educational approach of distributing sweets,” he said, “one should instill in children—calmly and pleasantly—that the sirens are meant to straighten the crookedness in our hearts, for ‘HaElokim asah sheyiru milfanav.’”
He cited the Rambam’s ruling at the beginning of Hilchos Taaniyos that when calamity strikes the community, there is a Torah obligation to cry out to Hashem. Such prayer, the Rambam explains, is part of the process of teshuvah, helping people recognize that hardships come as a result of their actions and prompting them to improve.
Only after the danger has passed, Rav Zilberstein said—when the missile has been intercepted or has fallen harmlessly in an open area—should sweets be distributed.
At that point, he suggested, those present should first recite Mizmor L’Sodah (Tehillim 100) to thank Hashem for the miracle. Then giving treats to the children could become part of a celebratory moment, even considered a seudah shel mitzvah, since there is a mitzvah to thank and praise Hashem after experiencing a miracle.
During the shiur, Rav Zilberstein also shared a powerful personal story from his childhood in Yerushalayim during the War of Independence in 1948. He recalled how people crowded into bomb shelters during air raids, where tensions sometimes ran high. In one shelter, he recounted, a woman would regularly embarrass others publicly, yet many of those present remained silent and overlooked the insults. Rav Zilberstein described how the merit of being maavir al midosav—overlooking personal offense—can itself serve as a powerful protection in times of danger.
The remarks, though delivered more than a decade ago, have resurfaced amid the current security situation and renewed debate over how best to help children cope with the anxiety of wartime sirens while remaining rooted in Torah values and perspective.
{Matzav.com}
