Matzav Inbox: I Don’t Need Your Bekitche. But the Scarf?
Dear Matzav Inbox,
So now we hear it said – and sung – out loud, with a shrug and a smirk: “I don’t need your bekitshe.” And people smile. Some even laugh. As if this is all just harmless.
But let’s stop pretending we don’t see the pattern.
Explain this to me: What’s with the scarves?
What’s with the men who proudly wrap themselves in scarves like it’s a badge of honor? Scarves indoors. Scarves on warm days. Scarves draped just so, carefully curated, carefully signaling something. What, exactly?
Here’s what I think, and let’s be honest enough to say it plainly. A scarf isn’t religious garb. A scarf doesn’t scream commitment. It doesn’t declare allegiance to anything beyond self-image. So it’s safe. It’s trendy. It’s acceptable. You can wear it without answering to anything or anyone.
The bekitshe, though? That’s the problem.
Because a bekitshe isn’t just a coat. It’s not fabric. It’s not warmth. It’s identity. It’s continuity. It’s saying, I belong to something bigger than myself. And that makes people uncomfortable.
Don’t kid yourselves. We’ve seen this movie before. First, you scoff at the “external symbols.” Then you redefine them as unnecessary. Then you frame them as embarrassing. Then you quietly ask why anyone still insists on them at all.
And the scarf? The scarf stays.
Because the scarf gives off a very specific vibe: I’m cool. I’m hip. I don’t give a rip.
Not I stand for something.
Not I’m accountable.
Just: I answer to myself.
Everyone walking around wrapped in indifference, cloaked in apathy, broadcasting that nothing is sacred enough to demand loyalty. That nothing is serious enough to require consistency. That everything is flexible—except ego.
And we’re supposed to nod along. Smile politely. Pretend this isn’t hollowing something out from the inside.
But it is.
This isn’t about clothing. It was never about clothing. It’s about what we’re embarrassed by, and what we’re proud of. It’s about what we’re willing to carry, even when it’s not “cool,” and what we’re desperate to shed so we can blend in, be liked, be modern, be admired.
Call it style if you want. Call it personal choice. But don’t insult our intelligence by claiming this is neutral. Don’t tell us this means nothing.
When symbols of commitment are treated like liabilities, and symbols of emptiness are worn with swagger, something is deeply wrong.
No Scarf
Brooklyn, NY
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