Matzav Inbox: Refuah Sheleimah as You Run Away for Sukkos
Dear Matzav Inbox,
I would like to take this opportunity to wish a heartfelt refuah sheleimah to all those who are once again packing their suitcases and running away for Sukkos. Some are off to Eretz Yisroel, some to Florida, some to hotels, some to rented houses, and some elsewhere. Wherever you are going, I hope you have a wonderful time, because after the difficult few weeks you have just endured at home, you certainly deserve the break.
I realize that many of you are still recovering from the summer. It was only a few weeks ago that you returned from your summer homes, where you spent July and August escaping from the large and beautiful homes that you worked so hard to buy. You packed up clothing, food, linens, toys, bicycles, scooters, cases of drinks, half your kitchen and enough supplies to establish a small settlement in the Catskills, all so that you could spend the summer getting away from it all. Then came the exhausting trip back home, followed by several very difficult weeks of having to live in your own house.
Somehow, you made it.
I can only imagine how challenging it must have been. You had to sleep in your own bed, sit on your own couch and eat in the kitchen you spent a fortune renovating. You had to use your own bathrooms and enjoy the central air conditioning that you complain about paying for all year. You may even have had to spend a Shabbos or two in your own neighborhood. Yet you persevered, and now, baruch Hashem, salvation has arrived. Sukkos is here, which means it is finally time to get out of the house again.
I have begun to wonder about these houses. I actually feel bad for them. These are beautiful homes, many of them purchased at prices that would have caused our grandparents to faint. Their owners spend years improving them. The kitchen gets redone, the basement gets finished, the dining room gets new furniture, the backyard gets a patio, and the bedrooms are decorated down to the last throw pillow. People spend months choosing countertops and agonizing over light fixtures. They debate whether the island should be eight feet or nine feet and whether the refrigerator should have custom panels. Then, when everything is finally perfect, they reach the conclusion that the best place to enjoy life is anywhere else.
Imagine being one of these houses and watching the suitcases come down the stairs again.
“Where are they going now? They just came back!”
The poor dining room must be terribly confused. Here it is, waiting patiently with a beautiful table that extends halfway to the front door, enough chairs for the entire extended family and a breakfront filled with dishes that are apparently too beautiful to eat on, and suddenly everyone is heading to Florida for Yom Tov. The kitchen must take it personally. Two sinks, two ovens, two dishwashers, a giant refrigerator, another refrigerator in the garage and three freezers downstairs, and the family still decided that making Yom Tov at home was simply too much.
What more could the house possibly have done?
Of course, after Sukkos, everyone will come back completely exhausted and tell us how difficult the trip was. The airport was mobbed, the flight was delayed, the rental car line was ridiculous, the kids didn’t sleep, the food wasn’t what they expected, somebody got sick, the weather wasn’t great, and by the time they finally walked back into their own house they needed a vacation from the vacation. This will be said without the slightest trace of irony.
Fortunately, there will then be a few weeks during which they can recuperate at home. I hope they use that time wisely, because Chanukah will be coming, and you know what that means. People cannot possibly be expected to spend Chanukah in the same place where they spent the three weeks after Sukkos. Florida will once again beckon. Then comes midwinter, because after spending several consecutive weeks in your own ZIP code, any normal human being obviously requires emergency evacuation.
Once midwinter is over, we can begin the serious business of discussing Pesach. This generally starts before the suitcases from Florida have been fully unpacked. Where are you going? Which program? Which hotel? Who is catering? Who is speaking? Who else is going? Is there a kids’ program? Is there a twenty-four-hour tea room? Heaven forbid someone should find himself hungry at 1:30 in the morning after consuming nine meals that day.
Then comes Shavuos, when another opportunity presents itself to flee the premises, and shortly thereafter it is time to begin packing for the bungalow again. Before you know it, another year has passed, during which the mortgage was faithfully paid every month on a house whose owners appear to regard spending time inside it as some sort of punishment.
I understand vacations. I really do. People work hard. Families enjoy going places together. Some people have parents or children in Eretz Yisroel and want to spend Yom Tov with them. There are a hundred legitimate reasons to travel, and everyone is entitled to spend his money and his vacation time however he wishes. What amazes me is how completely normal it has become to spend every possible break trying to get away from home, to the point that staying home for Yom Tov almost sounds like something that requires an explanation.
Tell someone, “We’re staying home for Sukkos,” and watch the reaction.
“Oh. You’re staying home?”
Yes. At home. Where we live. We have beds there and food and running water. There are even chairs. We think we’ll manage.
Sometimes the next question is, “You’re not going anywhere?”
Anywhere? I am going from my kitchen to my sukkah. I may even stop in the living room along the way. It’s going to be quite a trip.
Perhaps I am old-fashioned, but I always thought the whole point of having a home was that you actually enjoyed being there. Apparently, the new American dream is to buy the biggest and nicest house you can afford and then arrange your calendar so that you spend as little time there as possible.
So as Sukkos approaches, I really do wish all the travelers well. Have a safe flight. Have an easy drive. Enjoy Eretz Yisroel. Enjoy Florida. Enjoy the hotel, the rented house, the pool, the buffet and whatever other destination has rescued you from the terrible fate of spending another week in the home you chose, bought, furnished, renovated and continue to pay for.
And when you return after Yom Tov, exhausted and surrounded by suitcases, take a good look around. Say hello to the couch. Visit the dining room. Check whether the kitchen still remembers you. Maybe even spend a little time there.
Don’t worry. It won’t be for long.
Chanukah is coming.
A Reader Who Somehow Survives Staying Home
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