Dear Matzav Inbox,
I don’t usually write letters, but at some point some things become to much even for me.
There is a certain breed of fellow or gal in our communities who cannot take one step in life without informing the entire world about it on WhatsApp status. Every move. Every stop. Every simcha. Every coffee. Every restaurant. Every time he (or she) leaves his house, you can be sure we’ll all know about it within minutes.
Bar mitzvah? Status. Vort? Status. Wedding? Ten statuses. First the selfie in the car. Then the walking-into-the-hall shot. Then the “standing under the chandelier pretending to look thoughtful” pose. Then the forced grin with the baal simcha — who, by the way, often has no interest in this embarrassment. Then the table shot. Then the dessert shot. Then the selfie with the singer shot. Then the drive-home shot, like we were all sitting in the backseat waiting.
One word: pathetic.
And it’s always the same ridiculous poses. The chin slightly up, like he’s some kind of choshuve personality. The arm half-extended selfie, angled just enough so you can see the hall name in the background, in case anyone missed where he was. The “caught mid-conversation” look, as if someone just interrupted him while he was saying something profound. Or the classic: staring off to the side, pretending he didn’t notice the camera — even though he’s the one holding it.
Let’s be honest: you look stupid.
Nobody is impressed. Nobody thinks you’re living some incredible life because you managed to attend another bar mitzvah in a mirrored hall with gold chairs. We’ve all been there. It’s not Versailles. It’s a simcha. Mazel tov. Move on.
And what exactly are you trying to show? That you know people? That you were invited? That you eat out? That you leave your house? This isn’t high society. This is not chashivus. This is not confidence. This is insecurity with a front-facing camera.
There was a time when people went to a simcha, shook hands, wished mazel tov, sat down like a normal human being, and went home. No performance. No documentation. No need to prove to the world that he exists. No need to post a status with the singer and band.
Today, some people can’t even say mazel tov properly because they’re too busy angling the phone so the chandelier and some celebrity gvir is centered behind their head.
And don’t get me started on the restaurant statuses. The plate shot. The drink shot. The “casually holding the fork” shot. As if anyone is sitting there thinking, Wow, he ordered chicken and rice — what a life. Or the inevitable captionless selfie, because apparently the image of his face next to a steak is supposed to speak for itself.
Is this really how you want people to remember you? As the guy who documented every dopey thing he did? As the one who thought that being constantly seen meant being important? As the fellow whose entire identity is a series of statuses that disappear after 24 hours — which is fitting, because that’s about how much substance there is to it.
You are not building a reputation. You are not creating memories.
You are advertising emptiness.
Not even hashkafically, there is something very empty about this obsession with being seen. About turning life into a running show. About confusing presence with purpose. A little privacy, a little dignity, a little self-respect used to be normal. Now it seems like if it wasn’t posted, it didn’t happen.
Here’s a suggestion: put the phone away. Live the moment. Let a simcha be a simcha, not a photo shoot. Let people wonder where you were. Let your life speak quietly for itself.
And if you absolutely must take a selfie, at least spare us the chandelier.
S. M. R.
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MK Moshe Gafni, chairman of Degel HaTorah, delivered sharp and wide-ranging remarks in a heated interview aired Tuesday evening on Kol Chai Radio’s main news edition, addressing the draft law, the Supreme Court, tensions within the chareidi political camp, and what he described as deep-rooted hostility toward the chareidi public.
“There is no long-term solution to the draft saga,” Gafni said. “Right now we are working on the law. Iit’s not the joy of our lives, but this is what exists at the moment. I trust my colleagues to do the maximum, and every step will be asked of the Gedolei Torah.”
Asked what would happen if the Supreme Court intervenes in the draft legislation, Gafni responded, “We need to hope that the Supreme Court does not intervene, but if it does intervene we will once again ask the Gedolei Torah what to do next. Without Torah learning, the Jewish people have no right to exist in Eretz Yisrael, and we will continue to fight and we will not let up.”
Gafni pointed to what he described as unprecedented developments in recent days. “Today a letter was issued by the heads of the coalition against obeying the Supreme Court regarding Ben Gvir. These are things that did not exist 40 years ago,” he said. “There are people who tell me — because you went with Binyomin Netanyahu, we will do everything to harm you and we will not allow you to live here.”
During the interview, host Avi Mimran pressed Gafni on the possibility of new elections. “What would be gained by going to elections?” Mimran asked. Gafni replied, “There are things we do not do for gain. We cannot sit in the Knesset when Torah learners are being harmed like this. Apparently, if we had gone with the left, we would have received more.”
Gafni went on to accuse key institutions of harboring animosity toward the chareidi community. “There is hatred toward the chareidi public, mainly in the judicial system, in the media, and among the senior bureaucracy,” he said. “The people are not with them. The people are moving to the right. Justice Wilner delayed with tweezers — only the money intended for the chareidi public. Even though the funds for state education and even judges’ salaries passed in the same way. This is clear hatred. The attorney general is acting out of hatred toward the chareidi public, not out of integrity and not for any other reason.”
He warned that failure to pass the draft law would bring down the government. “If the draft law does not pass, then the budget will not pass and we will go to elections,” Gafni emphasized. “We will not give this up, because this is what the Gedolei Yisrael told us. They say we do nothing in the Knesset — that is simply not true. We passed a billion and a half shekels, which is now facing Supreme Court petitions. It didn’t come out of nowhere. Work was done, but there is abyssal hatred. I’m not going to say what else we advanced, because petitions will be filed against it.”
Gafni also said Degel HaTorah is actively fighting economic reforms that could harm vulnerable sectors. “The reforms that are supposed to hurt farmers, industrialists, and others we are meant to protect — we are fighting those as well,” he said.
Turning to internal chareidi politics, Gafni expressed open frustration over relations with Shas, particularly in Yerushalayim. “I cannot tolerate this reality, where one person takes control of the entire chareidi system — religious councils, rabbis, and everything that comes with it,” he said. “I hope he comes to his senses and understands that he is not alone in the world. When I asked in the Finance Committee to delay a vote by one day, he refused. He is not helping chareidi Jewry, and he is not helping all of us.”
Gafni concluded by pointing to the balance of power in the capital. “In Yerushalayim, United Torah Judaism has nine seats, Shas has six,” he said. “So what is this — everything has to belong to them?”
{Matzav.com}
