Matzav Inbox: What Does Hashem Want?
Dear Matzav Inbox,
I am a regular guy, born and raised in Monsey, NY. I try hard to be kovea itim, to do chessed, to provide for my family, and to live with ahavas Yisrael. I have always pushed myself to love every Jew from every background, and when that love was difficult, I made it a point to give more in order to strengthen it. The kinds of Yidden that many people avoid are often the ones I try to get close to. If I see someone hitchhiking, I try to pick them up. For me, the philosophy is simple: when I don’t know how to act, I ask myself, “What does Hashem want?”
I am Litvish, but I have always been drawn to Chassidish Torah and sefarim. Many of my rabbeim are Chassidish, and few things bring me more joy than a Chassidishe tish, farbrengen, or Simchas Beis HaShoeva.
Another important piece of who I am is that I live within a mile of New Square. I’ve always considered it an honor to be their neighbor. I’ve gone to the mikvah there on Fridays, schmoozed with the Yidden, and built friendships through business connections.
Throughout the years in which Skver bought up houses in my neighborhood, I tried to stay positive and be dan l’kaf zechus. I told myself that I didn’t need to understand everything — it’s all in Hashem’s hands. But as the situation progressed, and as my rabbeim told me that I have a responsibility to stand up against what I believe is injustice, I began to see a side of Judaism that I never believed existed.
I see a community of thousands of families following rabbanim, dayanim, askanim, and ultimately a Rebbe — and yet it feels to me as though they are trying to destroy another frum community in a way I have never seen frum Jews treat each other. At first, I assumed they simply didn’t realize the impact of their actions. But as time went on, it became clear that not only do they understand, they believe they are doing the right thing — and they are doubling down.
So I ask myself: could it be that they never stop to ask, “Is this what Hashem wants?” Could it be that people can live their whole lives as frum Yidden without asking that question? Could it be that sinas chinam becomes justified simply because peers say it’s okay?
I have spoken to many gedolim from different backgrounds, to askanim, and to regular Jews on the street. The response I’ve consistently heard is that what’s happening is wrong and very difficult to comprehend.
I am trying hard to keep an open mind. I still give tzedakah every time someone from Skver knocks on my door collecting for a chasunah or for Shabbos food. I keep telling myself that this is what Hashem wants. But what I see is a community that externally follows Torah, yet seems to care more about currying favor with politicians, wealthy individuals, or anyone who can elevate their public image — while forgetting what Hashem truly asks of us, and the fact that the purpose of this world is to grow closer to Him.
This entire situation has left me sad and confused. For the first time in nearly forty years, I find myself struggling to see the good — not just in one Yid, but in thousands. It leads my mind to places and questions I wish I never had to think about.
I hope this all disappears like a bad dream. But one thing I know with absolute clarity is this: I am here in this world to do what Hashem wants from me. So when I see a Skverer Yid hitchhiking or collecting for a poor family, I will still give — even if the smile is forced — because I believe that is what Hashem wants.
But I beg my friends in Skver: please ask yourselves the same question. You have spent your whole lives striving to grow closer to Hashem. Please don’t throw that away for this.
A Standard Monsey Yid
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