Matzav Inbox: What Is Going On With These Weddings?
Dear Matzav Inbox,
I’m going to say something that a lot of people are thinking, but not enough are saying out loud.
What in the world is going on with these weddings lately?
Every single week, or several times a week, it’s another over-the-top, out-of-control production. Not a chasunah. A production.
Massive floral arrangements that look like someone decided to recreate Gan Eden for one night. Imported singers flown in from Eretz Yisroel like it’s some international music festival. Zanvil and Motty Steinmetz might as well move to the US at this point. Massive bands, lighting that belongs at a concert, ice sculptures, desserts that look like museum pieces. What are we doing?
Since when did a wedding turn into this?
And don’t tell me “it’s for the simcha.” It’s not. Let’s be honest for five seconds. It’s not about simcha anymore. It’s about showing. It’s about topping the last wedding. It’s about, “Did you see what they did?” and making sure the next guy says that about you.
And the craziest part? The next day, no one cares.
No one remembers your flowers. No one remembers your lighting. No one remembers which singer you flew in or how many vocalists your Tzefardeia Choir had. People barely remember what they ate. By the next morning, it’s already over. Done. Finished.
But you know what’s not finished?
The bill.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Gone. For a few hours of noise and lights and fake “wow.”
And let’s call it what it is—it’s sick. Sick. Sick.
Not just “a little too much.” This is a full-blown, out-of-control sickness that keeps getting worse every single day.
There’s even a WhatsApp status dedicated solely to tracking weddings made by “moguls.” You can’t make it up.
And all this is happening while people in our community are choking on tuition bills, juggling credit cards, figuring out how to pay rent, how to marry off children, how to survive.
Do we not see the insanity?
You have families sitting at a wedding like this, smiling, clapping, pretending everything is normal, while inside they’re thinking, “Have we lost our minds?”
The pressure this creates is unbelievable.
More debt. More stress. More people trying to keep up with something that shouldn’t have started in the first place.
For what?
So that for one night, people should say “wow”?
A wedding is supposed to be about building a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel. About a chassan and kallah starting their lives together. About something real. Something meaningful.
Not this circus. Not this fake-ness.
Not this endless one-upmanship where each wedding has to be bigger, louder, more expensive, more “insane” than the last.
At some point, someone has to say enough.
Because right now, it’s just getting more and more extreme. There’s no limit anymore. No sense of normal. No sense of “this is enough.”
And the saddest part? Some people actually walk out thinking this is what a wedding is supposed to be.
It’s not.
It never was.
And if we don’t start saying that out loud—and actually meaning it—then just wait. The next round will be even crazier.
And the one after that?
Even worse.
Sincerely,
Not a Mogul, But a Regular Guy Saying the Truth
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