HEARTBREAKING: Captivity Survivor Arbel Yehud: Physically, I’m Back – But I’m Still There
For nearly a year and a half—482 excruciating days—Arbel Yehud was imprisoned deep inside Gaza, held in absolute seclusion and subjected to physical torment, deprivation, and abuse. In an emotional interview aired Friday night on Channel 12 News, she described the despair she felt during her captivity, the slivers of hope she clung to, and the inner strength she found through thoughts of her loved ones—especially her boyfriend, Ariel Cunio, who is still being held hostage.
“There? The loneliest,” Arbel responded when asked how isolated she felt. “First, you wake up and realize you’re still alive. All that’s left is to hold on to hope and pray that one day you’ll get out. There are very, very, very tough moments when you briefly want to end it yourself, and those are truly terrifying moments.”
When asked if she personally experienced such despair, she quietly affirmed, “Yes. But I never lost that one percent of hope, even if it was just the last fumes.”
Recounting the horror of being kidnapped from Kibbutz Nir Oz on October 7, she shared the painful memory of being torn apart from Ariel: “In the vehicle. We held hands the whole time. He said a sentence, I said a sentence. ‘Our lives are gone.’ And then, they just… tore him away. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to look into his eyes. I remember screaming for him, trying to move toward him, but they silenced me very quickly.”
Toward the end of her captivity, Arbel caught brief glimpses of the outside world through Al Jazeera broadcasts: “In the last month and a half to two months, a TV arrived… Suddenly, I saw that it was so many people from the kibbutz.”
She finds it difficult to piece together the details of her release: “At first, we were close to the Red Cross vehicle, then we turned right and moved away… There was fear, you know, because of the chaos, that there might be shooting in all directions. Later, in the crowd, I was in complete shock. There are parts I don’t remember.”
Even though she has physically returned home, Arbel says her soul remains shackled to her time in captivity: “Physically, yes, but not in my heart or mind. I’m there. You can’t leave a place like that. Knowing you got out, and others didn’t.”
Asked whether she thinks Ariel knows she survived, her response was somber: “To be honest, I don’t know. But I think… maybe, for the sake of psychological terror, they probably told him.”
And when asked how isolated she feels now, she answered with quiet intensity, “Not as alone as I was there, but I feel alone.”
Rather than focus on her own pain, Arbel has turned her attention to advocacy for the remaining hostages. On Ariel’s birthday, she organized a soccer match to honor him. Speaking about her current emotional state, she said, “I feel like I’m still restrained, like in captivity. As if everything is inside.”
When asked what she would say to national leaders, Arbel didn’t hold back: “The military pressure endangers the hostages, kills them, harms them physically and mentally.” And with unmistakable anguish, she concluded, “I don’t know if they don’t understand. I think they just don’t care.”
{Matzav.com Israel}